Skip to main content

Nearly Spent

Forgive me if you know this story, some readers are new to the sad saga. About exactly this time last year I was chatting with my friend Judy in the gym parking lot. I got in the car and thought, hmm...is my back hurting? I was still finishing my first short summer semester, taking a math class that I wasn't half bad at. I have never had a backache in my life that I can remember, so it seemed weird. At any rate, I started the new semester, this time taking college algebra that I abhor. Matt had advised me to take it in the six week deal--four days a week to get it over with. The problem was that by now it was clear it was my side that hurt, and I was beginning to get very weak. In a nutshell--I finally went to the doctor, started on a steroid, had a seizure twice, and was hospitalized. They discovered that my heart had developed a weird rhythm as well. One week in the hospital, eight specialists, every scan that you can imagine, including a heart work up. About day four the attending physician revealed that they had done blood work that included tumor markers. Unfortunately the one for pancreatic cancer was five times what is considered normal. As well, they had seen things on the scan that made them think of metastatic cancer. All in all, a horrible time. They did not see cancer in my pancreas, so there was no explanation for the results. I was discharged with no diagnosis, and that is where I stand today. A medical mystery, which is a bad thing to be. I have sworn off going to the doctor for a while.

The problem is that my side still aches most of the time, I have dry heaves almost daily, and still have limited energy. A friend of my sisters asked how I could take so many pictures if I felt so bad. The thing she doesn't realize is that most are taken within a few mile radius of the house unless Bruce takes me. My camera has meant so much to me--it allows me to focus on my surroundings instead of myself. I have thanked God many times that my home is not terribly large, thus not so much to manage. Bruce has been unbelievable through it all, as has the rest of family including my siblings! Lisa stayed with me the first two weeks after I left the hospital, even shaving my legs because I was too weak. Maureen came over many evenings to help me get some food together for dinner when Bruce was out of town. I can't say enough about how so many people have encouraged me.

I force myself to get out, keep going to school, and in general trying to lead a normal life--I can tell you it's not always easy. Nevertheless, I know others have things much worse. It's just hard to tell people you don't know what is wrong with you, only that something is amiss with my body.

On a more positive note, I had an idea this morning that I'm going to consider. My hair has gotten pretty long primarily because I just don't take the time to get it cut. My niece donated her hair to Locks of Love--maybe I'll just let it grow for a while and do the same.

While taking Baxter for a walk this morning I found this trumpet flower on the ground--it sorta looks like me--a bit withered, but there's color remaining. I knew you got the connection already though.
1 comment

Popular posts from this blog

Should We Go or Should We Stay?

It is hard to know what to do in the situation we found ourselves. Should we go, or should we stay? My vote was to stay, whereas Bruce wanted to head back to Vancouver because he had loads of meetings and work to do. After losing Baxter so recently, he'd had a hard time concentrating on work, and had only just begun to find his way. While I could understand all of that, now that I'd gone along for the ride, I realized how unpredictable it could be. How long could it take, after all?

Saturday morning Bruce drove over to the dealership to find out what he could while I roamed the property looking for anything of interest. Two things caught my eye, one of which are these cool pinecones on what we would call a Christmas tree.
Adjacent to the hotel there was a large lot fenced off for conservation. Walking around the block I saw what looked like evidence that a beaver had been busy. Further, I saw some cone shaped "structures" in the distance.
I never did see any beavers,…

The Sky

After our friend, Karen Howard, moved to the North Carolina mountains, she said one of the things she missed the most about living in Florida was the fluffy, white clouds, ever present throughout the year. Now I have a better understanding of how she felt.

There is no escaping the sky when you are living this high off of the ground with abundant glass. Because our high rise was the first to be built in this area of downtown, there are few impediments to the view. From what I've gathered, views are both highly prized, and highly protected here. And what is there to see? Having lived here for more than five months now, I've learned that there is a lot to see. Whereas in the summer months, your eyes are drawn to the activity on the water below, in the winter, it is all about sky watching. Will it rain? Will there be fog? Will that yellow circle on my phone, indicating a sunny day, really happen? If so, will there actually be a sunrise or sunset? What about the moon and stars? Wil…

Six Months!

I would be the first to admit that during these months in Vancouver I feel as if I am living in a bit of a bubble. Rarely do I even know the date, so it came as a bit of surprise discovering this morning that six months have elapsed since we arrived on July 29, 2017. Doesn't it seem as if were not that long ago that I was writing this post? Now that was fun to re-read that post! I was wrong, the building I photographed was not ours. Terribly sad to read about Baxie..

So, what do we think six months later? We do love the city, but this weather, yikes! I also read in that post that I was bound and determined that I would not complain, so we'll leave it at that.

Every day last week, in both rain and weak sunshine, I made myself go out and about, not wanting to sit in the condo alone while Bruce is at the office. I visited places both familiar, and not so familiar. More often than not, I began my walk when it was not raining, finishing them when it was. One morning I saw that the …