Tuesday, May 14, 2019

The Memorial

I think Carol would have reacted the same as I, however, I suspect her complaints would have been even louder. I can't say as there was much good during our trip, and when I arose from my airplane seat arriving in Orlando last night, or really nearly one in the morning of today, and my foot stuck to the ground because someone left a huge wad of gum on the floor, I had had enough. So ready to get back to our little sanctuary by the lake. The flight attendant handed me a piece of tissue, as if that would have done any good. Fortunately I then stepped on a piece of cellophane that stuck to the wad, thus I could leave the plane. That sort of thing I can't keep to myself and fussed a bit, however, Carol, most likely would have fussed a lot! During the gathering several of her friends remarked that we looked similar and had many of the same hand gestures, and while that may be true, I probably might describe myself as Carol-light. Not nearly as beautiful or talented, we were, after all, only eighteen months apart, so there are bound to be similarities.
Nancy brought photographs that I'd not seen in ages, and it was interesting to me that our personalities already come through. I'm the one with the kerchief looking somewhat meek, whereas Carol is the one on the left already commanding attention with her big smile. Taken during the one short year we lived in Buffalo, NY, Nancy is in our Mother's arms, and Lisa is yet to be born.

Before we left I visited Monica for a tune up as I wanted to look my best for Carol. Had I not, and she was still alive, I suspect a scolding might have been given.
And no, it is not all cut off, just a few inches along with some serious thinning out.

We left Orlando late Friday morning, arriving in LA around 1. By the time we got our rental car and were on our way, traffic was brutal. During our trip in March we got around using the Pacific Coast Highway, moving from one little town to another as we made our way to Long Beach. Really, no problem and a good way to see what the area looks like. This time it was a completely different story with us hitting every single red light along the way! As we learned late on a Friday afternoon, there is no good way of getting around as the freeway is just the same. Los Angeles has a glamorous reputation, however, it doesn't really look a whole lot different than home. That is if you don't count the insane gasoline prices, or the recreational marijuana billboard.
Nancy, having landed at Long Beach airport hours before, waited patiently for us to arrive as we were sharing a room. The weather remained gloomy, as did our mood, however, when we finally arrived, after dropping off our bags we went to see Hank. Who should greet us, but Astro.
Nearly ten years ago, while staying with us in Orlando, Carol and Hank fell in love with Baxter and then and there, decided to get a Yorkie when they returned to California. As only our sister would do, she decided he was destined for stardom, hiring an agent who spoke at the memorial. Turns out Astro never became as big a star as she'd envisioned but, that agent became a long time friend who loved Carol very much. We also met Hank's son who we'd not seen since he was a child in Melbourne. Now living in Montana, he's enjoying life there. Although I didn't expect much in the way of a sunset, I walked to the beach anyway, seeing large groups of people playing dodgeball which I'm sure will be coming to fields soon all over the country. What starts in California, more often than not, spreads nationwide. I also checked out the venue, situated across the street from the beach, and beside the oldest gay bar in Southern California.
Who knows how they came up with the name Belmont Shores Chalet because that turquoise building looks nothing like one, inside or out! I'll show you a few photos from our morning in another post, but this post is about the event, so let's go there, shall we? You know all those photos I'd culled? They were left on Hank's kitchen table because Terylann, who put the event together, had more than enough, both in frames, and on the table.
In an amazing connection, Linda, pictured here with Lisa, not only knew Lisa from high school, but also lived next door to Hank and Carol years ago in Melbourne. I don't think Lisa had seen her for at least forty five years, so they had loads of fun catching up.
Never was I so happy as when Linda produced a letter Carol had written to her on May 11, 1995, 25 years to the day of the event.  She mentioned her burgeoning art career, Hank's job, both at TRW and the flying lessons he was giving. And still does for that matter even though he is soon to be 78! After being married to Carol for all of these years, I'd never once met his sister who lives in San Diego, but now I have met Missie and what a classy lady she is.
Bruce and the three Price sisters mingled with the guests, introducing ourselves, and discovering how they knew Carol. Loads of them were art connections, either collectors, or fellow artists.
A recurring them amongst many was that they didn't even know that Carol had cancer because she refused to say the word. Even more didn't know that she was dying, only that she wasn't herself. A few did though, including Nada, a collector and friend of many years who told some funny stories about Carol.
We'd met Nada and Max at Carol's bedside two months ago, learning how much Carol meant to them. I mention this because they had flown down from their home, one of three, on the Puget Sound just to see her. In their own plane, of course. That said, they are a dear couple that are crazy wealthy from owning a software development company. Their paths crossed while Carol was teaching art at the Palos Verdes Art Center many years ago, and I dare say, all parties were the better for it.

Hank opened things up, using the theme of things you might not know about Carol. Indeed. Bruce, Nancy, and I, had some laughs about this because some of the things he said were so improbable that we wondered, "is he talking about our sister?" Like that she played and coached soccer while they lived in Germany as newlyweds. Carol? Soccer? And the backpacking story? Can that one be true? Now the one about her being a fast driver, we could buy into that one!

The letter I mentioned above? Although I had not planned anything to say, once I read these words that she'd penned so long ago, "Anything you want is yours if you go for it.", I knew I had a lead in that I thought I could use without sobbing. That was Carol in a nutshell. She would try most anything, perhaps even soccer, although we are still finding that one hard to imagine. :) As such, maybe about five or so years ago, she decided to relaunch her modeling and acting career, hiring a photographer to do a head shot for castings. She sent me a bunch to choose a favorite and was I ever thrilled when this appeared after the event began. I so love this one of Carol.
It was in an acting class that she meant this beautiful young woman, Clare, who worked as a back up singer for Tina Turner, and most recently, Taylor Swift. Cher, too. Her tribute to Carol was so heartfelt, well, I don't know what else to say,
except that once we were home, Hank showed us a video Clare had made the day before for Carol's birthday, when she sings, If We Never Meet Again, and I loved this pretty girl even more. Today, when I had the nerve, I've searched for it and learned all manner of artists have sung it, including this old video by a very young Dolly Parton.   Warning.....tear alert!!

So, those were all wonderful, but the icing on the cake was Gregg, Carol's friend and agent, not to be confused with Astro's agent. He also told some funny stories, and then he called up Dave and together they presented,
Hank with a wonderful surprise. Apparently, he and others got together to fund an annual drama scholarship in her name.
And, of course, I'm crying all over again at the mention of this.

And then it was all over. The actors, artists, collectors, friends, and family left with their memories, while Bruce and Hank walked some flowers back to the house that she loved, but never really got to enjoy.
Carol was many things over the course of her 63 years, a teacher, visual artist, model, actress, interior designer, writer, sister, friend to many, loving Aunt and wife. But a soccer coach? Now that is just too much!

your friend,

Gail


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